The Ahab Report!
Unprecedented, absolutely unprecedented!
With Two Weeks left in The Season, Two Teams are tied for First Place and Four Teams are tied for Third Place. Seriously, I mean, You can't make This shit up. If We had cameras rolling, with all proper consent forms signed and in place, We'd all be rich.
Anywho, Eric Robichaud's, Green Goddess seizes control of Their Own Destiny with respect to First Place, after Manny's pulls off an absolutely solid defensive upset, 3-2, led by upstart standout and absolute beast in net, Dave McDonald, over what appeared to be an aging Final Touch.
Votta Properties doubled up Manville Pizza, 4-2, but despite their effort, They have clinched Last Place. Watch out for These Cats, They ain't fuck'n around, Touch!
Eric Campbell's Roman Law kicked a late field goal, after completing a touchdown pass to, Brian Pendergast, earlier in the game, completing the 10-5 trouncing of Vescera Law.
On a more serious note, local police are on the lookout for someone with the alias of Captain Ahab. Apparently, He was last seen wondering behind a local Ice Rink, and witnesses collaborated that He may be disorientated and babbling, "No, what have I done?" Authorities urge You to avoid This person at all cost and to call Your local authorities immediately.
PS Facts, AKA, what We know for sure. On August 25th, at 820 PM, Final Touch, or 401, will be hosting Votta Properties. Note: Vescera Law is at a disadvantage with respect to Third Place , as They have only One game remaining. Speaking of facts and unprecedented, 401 Consulting has Five Players in The Top Ten List for points, very impressive!